20080601
Today is Children'S Day. I am not a child many years. Maybe, some years later. I will have my own child. I feel the pressure heavily. I don't know if I could deal with it Ok. But I have given my all efforts to make the good situation to come and will be the same in che coming months and years. Life is changeful, world is changeful, I have to prepare everything ready before the worst things happen. No one can help me. At the dusk, Niuniu phoned me and wanted to practice oral english with me. So I tried it. but felt dissatisfactory. Maybe my oral english is poor yet, or maybe there wasn't a suitable topic about the talk, or maybe the both. I should conclude what I have done in the past May. I cherished the time and have finished many things. But there was also a big problem liked before. I was often disturbed by the otherthings. It is not far away when I woould find job next time. Only 92 days. It's so short. I have to dedicate all my efforts to the meaningful things, just reading, programing, and something like that. And second, I did the work and study planlessly. so the efficient is dispointed too. I am not clever than other people, I have spent more time than others on the study, so it should lead to be a good result. Am I more stupid than others? Of course no.
20080602
I don't know what to say. I was hurted by Niuniu another time again. It's just a nonproblematial problem , but niuniu took it and didn't want to stop. I know I lost my control of my emotion tonight, and it's the first time I became so het-up when fighting with niuniu. I am tired. Just a day before, I thought there would be a good future waiting for us. But now, It's just a idea only thought by myself. Maybe I have made so many fault and let niuniu have a deep prejudice against me. I didn't know why the talk make mention of Pasat's price. I just said a price that I didn't think it was true totally and just wanted to see the reaction of Niuniu. But it just like a match be ignited and became out of my control. Niuniu thought I was crazy and stupid. How could I myself said such a unbelivable thing. I became angry because it was not What I truly meaned. A good night has gone by the little thing and so for niuniu. I had no mood for doing other things and went to bed early. But I know there are many things waiting for me to do. So I have to get up at around half past 4 AM. Sorry niuniu, no matter how you said to me, I shouldn't talk to you in that rude way. I have often said I would treat you with no emotion and didn't want to hurted time and time again. To say is one thing and to do is another. I can't do that. It's so hard for me. Because the next time to find a good job approached day by day, and there was no much time left. I don't want my plan disturbed by anythings. It did no good for both of us. I know it's also a hard time for you, but I really don't know how to face you.
20080603
Tonight, is aslo Tuesday night, I have been watched my favarite TV show, Ying Zai Zhong Guo or Win in China.
