修改作文

It was raining outside. (Silver threads of rain formed a veil beyond the eaves when a knock came—soft but deliberate, which seemed to still the very atmosphere.) (修改：The rain fell in a steady rhythm, creating a shimmering curtain beyond the eaves. Suddenly, a soft yet deliberate knock pierced the quiet, as if time itself had paused.) Daisy's fingers flinched and she pivoted her face towards the door, so that Gatsby could not discern her facial expression clearly. All he perceived was Nick's immediate movement that Nick traversed the room to answer, leaving Gatsby rooted on the threshold, with his hands plunged like lead into the pockets of his coat.
As he stood there, the damp air clung to him, water pooling at his feet. (Rigid stood he, with his heart pounding wildly beneath his ribs.) (修改：He stood rigidly, his heart pounding so hard that he feared it would burst through his ribs.) He had rehearsed this moment countless times. However, now his voice deserted him completely. His eyes locked onto Nick's, seeking some unspoken prompt, some form of reassurance. But all he encountered was the same inscrutable courtesy that had always shielded Nick's thoughts.
Then Gatsby started moving, wordlessly walking past Nick. (Stiff as if pulled by invisible strings, he made his way down the hallway, which blurred around him.) (修改：Like a marionette controlled by invisible strings, he walked stiffly down the hallway, his vision blurring with a mix of anticipation and anxiety.) Abruptly, he spun around—so abruptly that his shoulder slammed into the doorframe. But he scarcely noticed. All his thoughts zeroed in on her—she was just beyond the archway. At long last, he could reach her.
Hands still in his pockets, he forced himself to walk over to the mantel. (Despite attempting to appear relaxed, he couldn't pull it off.) (修改：He tried his best to look calm and composed, but his fidgeting hands and tense posture betrayed his true feelings.) Behind him, the clock had stopped, its hands frozen at some forgotten hour. Leaning against it, he tilted his head back until the carved wood dug into his skull. Look at Daisy, he pleaded silently. See her as she was...and as she is now.
And then—there was Daisy.
She sat ramrod straight, her dress pooling around her like a spill of moonlight. Perhaps she trembled slightly—Gatsby couldn't be sure. (Afraid to be overwhelmed, he didn't dare look at her too closely.) (修改：Worried that he would be consumed by his emotions, he only stole quick glances at her, afraid to fully meet her gaze.) Even from his peripheral vision, she radiated light, more vivid than his memories. The curve of her neck, the gentle rest of her fingers on the chair's edge—each detail pierced him like an arrow.
His throat constricted. Five years of conjuring conversations, penning unsent letters, and yearning for her in dreams—all distilled into this excruciating silence. He'd fantasized about her voice countless times, yet now dreaded hearing it. What revelations might it carry? Would she remember? Would she even care?
The room spun around him. Through his pockets, he gripped his wrists firmly, fighting to steady himself. This was the moment that had reshaped his life. Now that it was finally here, he was rooted to the spot, a man ensnared in the gilded ruins of his own long-held yearning.