我一直希望得到很多爱。如果没有爱，很多钱也是好的。如果两者都没有，我还有健康。我其实并不贫乏。 ——喜宝 (xibao)
闭上眼睛。不用再去为被declined的信用卡焦虑。不用再去为奖学金的deadline失控。不用再为男人的谎言女人的不幸哀悼。更不用因为苏格兰的满眼绿色憔悴。 ---???

long long age i had many expectations and hoped a lot. Mom and dad were urging me to reach my goals after the teachers persuaded me to set my goals. what i did would be what i had expected, which was beautiful indeed. i can achieve my goals in my major work, but in other fields i failed--many times...

when i coworked with others, i kept asking myself why those guys were so selfish and put the team secondary...
when i went after some girls, likely i kept asking myself why they were so concieved and tried to be sophisticated... why are we outgoing and frank??? i tell what i fell truly,so will you... i consider you, so will you...

after i was a postgraduated student, i had a habit to set a deadline for everything. what would i finish within this or that week. i wish i can move step by step.  if i made it before deadline, that were very OK. if i failed, i would refine the former plan or quit. i didn't want to wast my time on the unconsidering things(the unfinishing work or the former plan).

BUT it makes me very unhappy which i have to set deadline when i interacted with someone or some girl, truely. if the future situation had get worst, how i would say to myself and face us all...sometime i felt we lost something step by step...why??because we were degrading... xibao had a lot deadlines But if all were fading, HOW she would pray to the heaven when falling into the hell...tell me HOW??if the god could heal all the hurts, how we erase the stains at the dark side of heart?? how we bond heart to heart again?? tell me HOW??----for the work i am doin and for the girl i am going after

i asked faith---"what is the most important thing in your christian life??" before this hangzhuo trip. She told me "THAT IS FAITH!!" and then she explained what is the faith---when we do something we must trust someone or something. when we walk and what kinda life we lead---that totally involves a turst everywhere and anytime. ALWAY trust your worship god, which is your FAITH. Trust HE will help you and trust HE is directing you......i have already known that Bible is god's words and seen my good examples who are refined and moved by Juses.
i will grow in Him alone and i asked Tim and Faith how i will do?? they answered to me that "you will be a light and don't say anything, let them see the change and feel the change so as to be moved by god, Juses and you."

change me and others , i love that, i did know there are many changes in the life span for me and others. don't refuse to them cause they can force you to think life and find truth. we faced the big changes for the work and the girl. LOVE those and DON'T say anything as my coworker told me---you can do better.

ROMANS  tells me---Be patient in pains and alywas hope!! that's true. what we should have is the expection and put myself right position and alwas hope---hope the change which is brought by god...
1 CORINTHIANS tells me--Love is not rude, love is not sefl-seeking!! yep, tony,,, devote yourself into... don't lost your faith even in the toughest time and don't put your deadline easily. learn to love and learn to take responsibilities, LOVE NEVER FAILS!!!

TONY,,,try to smile to your life and this spring, try to love them with your devoted heart....
trust your god and yourself...