关于 The River All Red (Tr.许渊冲) 的一点感想

在许渊冲先生翻译的《满江红·写怀》 The River All Red 中,对于词句“三十功名尘与土,八千里路云和月”的翻译,许老是写为

To dust is gone the fame achieved at thirty years

Like cloud-veiled moon the thousand-mile land disappears

愚以为此处翻译得不够信达雅。

As we all know,在古代,许多具体的量词实为虚指,并非真的是三十年整和八千里整,比如“千山鸟飞绝,万径人踪灭”,并不真的是一千只鸟,一万条小路;“将军百战死,壮士十年归”,并不是将军经历了一百场战斗后壮烈牺牲,壮士打了十年的仗最后归来(互文见义);飞流直下三千尺,夕贬朝阳路八千,也并非真的是三千尺长、八千里路                                                          (哇我真是旁征博引^^

因此我认为,此处译文中直接出现“thirty years”和"thousand-mile"有点太具体了,有种僵硬之感,和中华文化中那种喜留白的feel有些许不合,甚至略微有种不谙古文化的误会。

而参考了赵宜忠翻译的版本,也仍然是具体的三十与八千。

 

In my opinions,“三十”意为“时间长”,“八千”意为“距离远”,此处是从时间和空间两个侧面刻画了岳家军多年的南征北战。以我之拙见,此处不妨翻译成:

Looking back

Fame is dust-like in my eyes

I remember the moon & cloud every night

But now

As a long time has flied

They all dim in my mind

 

因本人非英专学生,况才疏学浅,定有不当之处,敬请批评斧正为谢!

 

以下附上许老的译文(中文对照是我加的0.0)

 

满江红

The River All Red

怒发冲冠

Wrath sets on end my hair

凭栏处、潇潇雨歇

I lean on railings where

I see the drizzling rain has ceased.

抬望眼

Raising my eyes

仰天长啸

Towards the skies,

I heave long sighs

壮怀激烈

My wrath not yet appeased

三十功名尘与土

To dust is gone the fame achieved at thirty years

八千里路云和月

Like cloud-veiled moon the thousand-mile land disappears

莫等闲,白了少年头,空悲切!

Should youthful heads in vain turn grey

We would regret for aye.

 

靖康耻,犹未雪

Lost our capitals

What a burning shame!

臣子恨,何时灭

How can we generals

Quench our vengeful flame!

驾长车,踏破贺兰山缺

Driving our chariots of war, we’d go

To break through our relentless foe

壮志饥餐胡虏肉

Valiantly we’d cut off each head

笑谈渴饮匈奴血

Laughing, we’d drink the blood they shed

待从头,收拾旧山河

When we’ve reconquered our lost land

朝天阙

In triumph would return our army grand

posted @ 2023-02-18 12:36  无情的codingbot  阅读(131)  评论(0编辑  收藏  举报