Personal Statement范文赏析之出国留学必备的写作知识盘点

  在正式打草稿前,不如读上十来篇别人家的个人陈述好了,尤其是被人当作案例来用的范文。下面和小编来一起赏析一篇挂在某国外网站上供人学习的Personal Statement范文吧!如果你不需要写啥个人陈述,那也可以学习下英文写作咯嘛~

  (这貌似是申请进入国外医学院学习的某个本科生写的,正式赏析前请注意!)

  Plagiarism:Under no circumstances should you use part,or all ofthis Personal Statement.You immediately risk your university place.(记住啊,不要剽窃人家的内容,小心别人查重,哈哈!而且这个只供参考,并非写作模板,PS写作其实灵活度很大)

  正式开始赏析!

  The decision to study medicine isn't one made upon one mind-blowingexperience or a childhood dream,but in fact,it's made upon the accumulation of various experiences including studying human anatomy,my work experience and volunteering and a keenness to work with and for other people have reinforced my belief that studying medicine is the right choice for me.(第一段说明自己学医的原因,是什么激起了自己的兴趣。总体来说不是特别吸引眼球,但我觉得第一句说得很好,很真诚,这么写其实给人眼前一亮的感觉。问你为啥学医?有些人可能会回答:我呀。。小时候就梦想成为医生,医生很高大上.....但是如果在PS里面你这样写,你就跪了。因为这是很明显的泛泛而谈!面试官看到这种cliche--陈词滥调,只怕不会对这篇文章留下很好的印象。除非,你有特殊的经历,且能给出When?Where?Who?What?How?你这段能打动人的经历有数字描述尽量精确到具体数字,而且要写得很真诚,给人感觉的确有这么回事,而不是在你忽悠人家。开头段主要交代自己的motivation,你的动机来源。)

  小编认为较好的写作表达:

  1.The decision to....is made upon.....做....决定是基于.....

  2.Reinforce one’s belief reinforce这个动词搭配感觉很地道~

  While studying AS Biology,human anatomy was something that fascinated me.To further my learning,I underwent a'Massive Open Online Course'(MOOC)about Human Anatomy where I learned more about the functions and features of organs and a case study involving a patient who had a stroke.For my work experience,I spent a few days at two different GP practices.I witnessed a round at alocal nursing home which specialized in people with dementia.Having had Dementia training and becoming a Dementia Friend,I recognized the doctor's careful yet calm and considerate approach while routine checks were being completed.During adifferent consultation with a young man about anxiety,I was able to note the more reassuring and diligent tone the doctor took.These different experiences highlighted to me the adaptability in approach needed when dealing with the different problems and people.I also saw the formulation of an end-of-life care plan with discussions relating to a Do Not Resuscitate order and while this is a challenging aspect of medical care,it is one that I understand needs to be done with dignity and respect for the patient and theirfamilies.Additionally,I observed a particularly interesting consultation in which a young man was given a diagnosis of Klinefelter syndrome.I used myknowledge of genetics from A-Level Biology to understand the how the additional X chromosome can result in abnormal growth and infertility,the doctor approached these sensitive topics with understanding and compassion.This was a valuable experience for me to witness as I feel I have these skills but I am eager for them to develop to reach the level ofprofessionalism a career in medicine entails.essay writing service on repor t.lxws.n et(整个第二段作者介绍了自己之所以对医学慢慢产生兴趣的相关经历---自己去上解剖公开课,去跟临床见习的经历,这里作者详细描述自己在照顾痴呆患者的护理院中的所见所闻,包括医患交流,临终关怀,最后还结合自己所学的遗传学知识介绍了一种特殊的疾病---克氏综合征,以及观察医生如何和患者交代某些敏感的话题---不孕不育,可谓是细节应有尽有,完全用细节展示了自己对医学的热爱,说服力贼棒,这个套路大家可以学一学,而且作者最后一句对自己经历的总结写得很棒----体现了既往经历之宝贵,继续进入医学深造之渴望。至于咱们临八写这种个人陈述,可以先写点自己为啥对医学那么热爱,最后你需要具体到自己的专科,谈自己为什么如此喜爱这个专科,而不是像作者一样可以谈及多个方面,记得多列举有关的细节!!)

  小编认为较好的写作表达:

  3.Specialize in….专攻于….

  4.End-of-life care临终关怀

  5.A Highlight to someone….A向某人强调了…(的重要)

  6.Do Not Resuscitate order患者放弃心肺复苏的知情同意书

  7.Reach the levelof professionalism a career in medicine entails达到行医所需要的专业水准

  From July ofthis year,I have volunteered at a local care home for 2 hours a week.My role consists of talking to residents as well as playing games such as skittles and dominoes and generally keeping residents company.My time volunteering allowed me to interact with residents with Dementia as well as those with limited mobility.During my time,I witnessed the effect that loneliness had on some of the residents who didn't have many visitors and while I was able to devote a little bit of my time solely on them,it was plain to see the simple pleasure shown by the residents in return,further highlighting to me the gratification of a careerin medicine.(这一段补充了自己在疗养院做志愿者的经历,表明自己付出时间陪伴在患有痴呆的患者身边,及带给了他们快乐,自己很欣慰,深感从医是件特别有意义的事情。作者表达的感情都有事实作为依据,没有任何泛泛之谈。)

  小编认为较好的写作表达:

  8.Consist of….由….组成

  9.Keep someone company陪伴某人

  10.Interact with….与…交流、互动

  11.Someone with limited mobility行动不便的人

  12.Devote time on someone花费时间在某人上

  13.It is plain to see….….显而易见

  Outside of school,I have played Cricket since the age of 8 and have played for both Adult and Junior sides for my club.I have also had the privilege of captaining a side as well;I feel being captain helped improve my motivating and communicating skills.As well as this I coached some of the younger kids for 1 hour a week,allowing them to enjoy themselves but also improving skills such as batting and fielding.Also,I am currently working as a Customer Service Assistant atWaitrose.This has put me in positions with challenging customers which has allowed me to develop acalm and professional mannerism.While in school,I mentored a Y8 student during form time who was struggling in maths and while I managed to advance her ability in maths,I also feel I was able to boost her self-confidence as well.As well as this I had the honor of representing my form as a form rep.This meant that my peers had trust in me to convey their concerns with the senior leadership team.(这一段看似在写自己的兴趣爱好---当板球队长、做业余教练、做顾客助理、做家教~。其实作者通过写这些来体现自己的优良品德—善于交际、助人为乐、沉稳大气、他人信任,而这恰好是当医生需要的四大优良品质,也就是作者在告诉小读者们---“我这人品,当医生绰绰有余~~”,并且作者描述这些的时候用于丝毫不带浮夸的意味,写得很真诚,你读着会觉得“这孩子也许确实具备当个好医生的潜力”。对于咱们八年制的同学们,六年的点点滴滴,相信每个人都有自己的感人经历,都有打动自我、感召他人的瞬间。多回味过去,用朴实的文字写下自己的故事,适当结合你自己那份个人荣誉大清单,争取做到让小编我读了你的个人陈述也觉得你的确能做个好医生~)

  小编认为较好的写作表达:

  14.Have the privilege/honorof…有幸能够…

  15.Put someonein….position将某人置于…处境

  16.Develop acalm and professional mannerism养成了沉稳而专业的品行

  17.Boost one’sself-confidence增强某人的自信心

  The prospect of studying medicine is very appealing to me,the continuous learning does not deter me but in fact,highlights to me the stimulating nature of the vocation.Imperatively,I know I have the character and devotion to prosper in such a rewarding profession.(最后一小段总结,再次表达自己被医学深深吸引着,即使学医意味着要终身学习,我也毫不畏惧,反而觉得医学充满着刺激与挑战,令人兴奋不已。结尾铿锵有力,作者坚信自己的优良人格与奉献精神将使自己成为医学领域中的佼佼者!这个收尾是很有震撼力的,)

  小编认为较好的写作表达:

  18.A is appealing to someone某人对A很感兴趣

posted @ 2020-05-07 14:25  MeelounEssay  阅读(437)  评论(0)    收藏  举报