Narrative writing revision

Swordswoman

In the past, no one believed that a woman could become a swordswoman. Up to now, people thought as the same as well. Although I was familiar with sword skills, most of people just laughed at me. I was a simple woman who spent almost whole life in the castle silently. Therefore, I pretended to be a beet and weak old woman in the daily life. However, I hoped to become a swordswoman in the bottom of my heart. When I had to accepted the horrible fact, I met four special girls who had the same dream with me. They were maids in the castle.

One day, the light hanging on the roof fell down suddenly and it almost would kill the prince. Four girls aside showed their sword talent accidently, to protect themselves, which caught my attention easily. Learning about their thoughts, I realized they had a same dream with me. What is different from me is that they were braver than me, so that I hold the belief that they were equipped with talent and determination to be a swordswoman. Hence, I’d like to give them a hand by teaching them how to become a true and valuable swordswoman after listening their minds. Then:

Me: If you want to learn more sword’s skills with me?

Obviously, they were dubious about my words and ability.

Four girls: Are you serious? You looked like emaciated.

Me: Of course. I can teach you all of my skills if you’d like to learn with me and follow my guidance.

I knew the way how to persuade them. After showing my excellent skills, they couldn’t wait to learn my knack.

Four girls: Well, that’s wonderful. It’s our pleasure to learn from you.

From then on, I began to train them secretly in an unsearchable place which was an obsolete training center. Although the process was hard and tired, four girls could insist and never give it up. From their behaviors that they practiced continuously every day, I seemed to see myself in them, who never say giving up easily.

Me: Only royalty can admit us as swordswomen and protecting royalty is a matter of great glory. Therefore, we need to take the responsibility to ensure the security of the palace and the royal family.

Four girls: We will try our best to do our duty by taking advantage of our skills.

After training for a long time, four girls have made great progress. Other than that, there were something horrible going on secretly in the castle. One day, Corrine was late for the class without reasons. Then she told us that someone was trying to hurt the prince purposely and she saved the prince successfully for one time.

Corrine: As far as I’m concerned, the light falling down suddenly isn’t an accident but a must, because I found the rope which was used to hang the light was cut off artificially.

I realized it’s not extraordinary. Then to find the dangerous character, I told them……

Me: We should be more careful to guarantee castle and prince's safety from now on. Moreover, we need pay attention to ourselves’ safety.

Four girls: The one who wanted to hurt prince is very horrible, and we must need to find him and protect our prince and palace.

After girls' efforts, the evildoer's conspiracy was explored. The evil backstage manipulator was prince's cousin and he wanted to kill the prince so that he could become a real king. Fighting with enemies for a long time, four girls won and ruined the terror plot.

To appreciate girl's contributions, the king announced that the four girls were real swordswomen. The four brave and excellent girls' dreams became true in the end. After witnessing their progress, it's like my wish came true, too. What’s more, I felt so proud for their achievement.