English

Regarding your questions about the kind of formal business writing that you're looking to achieve, I would say that you're on the right track. I see a sense of seriousness in your tone, and that counts as half formal. I know what you mean by "business writing", but for now, you don't need to worry about it so much. Let me explain what I mean. Take the example of writing emails to colleagues. Yes, you need to be formal to a certain extent, but you also need to make your emails personal enough that when your colleagues read your message, they will think, "oh, this is Tian!" As for other business occasions such as for writing business report, I find the passive tone more dominant and hence more formal. However, even in the business writing workshops, the instructors did not encourage the excessive use of passive tone.

What would really show your English skill is what your second question entails. Yes, accuracy of words matters a lot. Unfortunately, I don't have any better suggestion than write more and read more. Read the news in English, read business books instead of literature books because the style of writing is very different.

Some pointers from your passage:

- avoid using "I think". This sounds that you're unconfident. Instead, use "I would say", or even, "I believe this to be true..."

- Use "bothers me", "troubles me" instead of "haunts me": bother has less emotions to be, I'm guessing that's why business people use that

- "By 'accuracy', I mean", instead of "The 'accuracy' means..."

- As for the word "use", there is nothing wrong with it, but you can use "utilize" even though it is not as good as "use".

Do memorize vocabularies. I remember that had been helpful in my early stage of learning English, but be cautious of using synonyms. Distinct words are there for a reason-- they do express different meaning. But increase your vocabulary would help you notice how other people are using the words. And you will develop the English sense this way.

Hope this helps. I would also point stuff out to you when I see them.

I applied to some finance-related jobs today. Fixed Income Operations, Investment Operations. I woke up dreaming about job searching, and did my applications early in the morning. So tired today. Going to go to sleep soon.