别说欧式中文!

引入

你有没有觉得自己写文章时想要高级却累赘又难懂,看他人的文章时,尤其是翻译后的技术文章,难以理解.想想你是不是困于欧式中文,能不能让一句话既符合主谓宾顺序又精炼简洁.欧洲语言严重影响了现在汉语/中文,常见于奇怪语法和冗余。可能你不以为意,但欧式中文已经过度改变了中文,能说简练中文的寥寥无几。你很可能不懂中文,例如:

例子:我是一名教师。
改正:我是教师。
原因:欧洲语言,例如英文,才会强调数量。中文讲究简练,“一名”便是废话。

例子:所有的士兵们都已整装待发。
改正:士兵都已整装待发。
更简洁的:士兵整装待发。
原因:中文不强调单复数和时态。

例子:不排除有玻璃掉落的可能性。
改正:有可能掉落玻璃。
原因:使用抽象名词“可能性”,“玻璃掉落”是宾动结构,不符合语法。

例子:有被笑到。
改正:好笑/笑了。
原因:中文就没这么奇怪的语法。

例子:对于这件事,他们尚未作出决定。
改正:他们尚未决定此事。
原因:“对于...”、“作出”是废话。改为主谓宾的格式更符合中文思维

例子:当人们说起文化,我们总会联想的艺术和历史。
改正:文化总让人想到艺术和历史
原因:“当人们”多余,

例子:他们争吵了一宿,最后还是男方作出让步。
改正:他们争吵了一宿,最后还是男方让步。
改正:他们争吵了一宿,最后男方让步。
改正:他们争吵了一宿,男方让步。
改正:争吵了一宿,男方让步。
改正:争吵一宿,男方让步。
附:有多种改法,改到最简有可能丢失信息。若要突出男方很多次让步,则不用省略“还是”。

例子:我们应该加快经济改革的步伐。
改正:我们应该加快经济改革。
改正:我们应该加快改革经济。
改正:加快改革经济。
解释:去掉多余的抽象词“的步伐”,改为主谓宾结构,合理省略。

在IDEA看到的
例子:索引编制暂停。
改正:暂停编制索引。
即使是专业领域也应该符合中文语法。

中文指导

  • 去除不影响句意的部分(数量,时态,介词)
  • 尽可能少用抽象词
  • 使用主谓宾结构
  • 合理省略

英文指导

类型 例句 简化句 总结
A.语素重叠造成的累赘 There have been good harvests in agriculture. There have been good harvests. 我讨厌数学这门学科 vs 我讨厌数学。
数学就是一门学科,无需赘述。
辨别方式是看句子的主要名词究竟需不需要额外的名词定语来限定。
还有一些例如时间状语, in the past / future, 已经可以从时态得知,那就是多余的。
These hardships are temporary in nature. These hardships are temporary.
a serious mistake in the work of planning a serious mistake in planning.
When we were studying Chinese poetry in the past, we were young and naive. When we were studying Chinese poetry, we were young and naive.
B.动词抽象名词化 We must make an improvement in our work.> We must improve our work. 本是动词,靠着后缀变成名词(甚至有直接也有名词词性的,什么都不加),再配一个虚空动词(见表2)。 辨别方式是看句子的谓语动词到底是不是句子真正表达的动作,然后再思考能否把动词替换成真实的动作。
They should conduct a careful examination of... They should carefully examine...
to bring about a change in the situation to change the situation
until China realizes industrial modernization. until China modernizes its industry
C.形容词或副词抽象化 A man with a sense of masculinity showed up. A masculine man showed up. 有着坚强品质的人 vs 坚强的人
辨别方式,找寻“ness湖水怪”(ness后缀,ity后缀的词)。
简化为实际的形容词和副词后,一并可以丢弃多余的“a 品质 of”。
或者将 ness 后缀词尽量修改为更常见的名词,如本类最后一例.
A story which contains wholesomeness made us cry. A wholesome story made us cry.
Our hero possesses the characteristics of effectiveness. Our hero is effective.
It's never a good thing to develop a habit of impetuousness. It's never a good thing to develop a impetuous habit.
They showed a lot of eagerness to join. A. They were eager to join.
B. They showed a lot of enthusiasm to join.
D.工作英语啰嗦大全 It is especially necessary to make great effort to study their failure. It is especially necessary to study their failure. 见表2“工作英语废话”列.
当出现 to ... to 的时候,就要小心是不是写了一句工作英语的废话。
句子里已经有一个词凸显了“着重感”时,其他的用词就尽量朴素。
特别常见的是已经写了 must 一词后,后面就不用再跟着 try our best to... 之类的话了。
The principal task at hand is to do a good job at applying the results. The principal task at hand is to apply the results.
E. 综合简化案例 the Army must work hard to find solution to the problem of raising work efficiency. the Army must increase efficiency. 15个词简化成5个词。
有 must 就不用 work hard 了;
find solution to the problem of ... 其实全是冗余,关键还是找到真正的动作,用实义动词替换之。
We should take effective measures to implement the strategy of invigorating agriculture by applying scientific and technological advances. We should invigorate agriculture by applying scientific and technological advances. take effective measures to implement the strategy of
先是工作英语废话,再是动词抽象化,一连8个词没有提供任何新信息,直接剔除。
the national economic strength experienced an increase of extreme rapidness during this period. the national economy grew most rapidly during this period. economic strength -> economy
experienced an increase of extreme rapidness
架空名词和 ness 湖水怪同时出现,直接削成动词+副词。
虚空动词(词组)集合 工作英语废话
这些动词虽有实义(比如make的实义是制作),但经常以架空的含义出现在写作中,此时就要小心观察句子的真正动作是什么,以精炼句子。 工作报告中常见的废话。一篇文章用一两个无伤大雅。用多了就会腐蚀中心思想,不仅读起来费力,还会在真正需要“重点强调”的时候,失去力量。
make make great efforts to
have make every effort to
provide try our best to
carry out do our utmost to
conduct do everything possible to
engage in strive to
achieve work hard to
realize pay attention to
exercise pay heed to
register see to it that
accomplish lay stress on
implement put emphasis on
bring about do a good job in
reach achieve success in
use do successful work in
take necessary to ensure
ensure
strive toward
follow

推荐

  • 余光中《翻译乃大道》《论中文之西化》《中文的常态与变态》《论的的不休》《从西而不化到西而化之》
  • 金圣华《“活水"还是"泥沼”?——译文体对现代中文的影响》
  • Wikipedia 欧化中文Westernised Chinese language

参考:

posted @ 2022-01-25 11:30  SoClear  阅读(407)  评论(0编辑  收藏  举报